A new year is here with threads of 2024 lingering.
I have been on a much-needed break from work and return tomorrow to what will be a full inbox of emails and a rather lengthy to do list. I can only imagine the wacked out emails that await me when I start going through them.
During my time away, I finished reading one book and read the entirety of another. Both of the books gave me pause to reflect on things in different ways. I re-evaluated my suicide attempts. Looking back on where I was as a teenager into my college years and where I am now. It is interesting to read other people's views on suicide. I'm starting to think no one truly understands it's cause even after all of their research. Researchers are getting better in understanding how suicide works, how it happens and impacts those with the ideation.
Based on my own personal experience, which never lines up 100% with researchers, to me suicide is not something that fits into a neat box with a clean-cut list of symptoms. It's complicated. I'm not sure I agree with the view to talk about suicide "nicer". Instead of saying "committed suicide", everyone is encouraged to say, "death by suicide" when talking about someone who has taken their own life. Perhaps, I'm old school in this line of thinking. There is no reason to sugar coat it. Taking your own life is not something you do on the fly. It may seem so on the surface to outsiders, but it is not. People do and can plan it out.
As for the other book I read, I'm not going to mention the author or the title of the book simply because they have recently been called out as a 'liar' by the community for which they belong too. It's a community my dad belonged in general terms but one I do not. As a matter of fact, my dad actually told me not to become a member of it when I was a senior in high school.
The hate from people towards this individual has been strong. Some comments by people who are joining in to pile on the hate clearly (1) have not read the book or (2) done their own research to come to their own conclusions about the situation. They blindly go with the herd.
From video and comments, I have seen, it is clear people are only hearing excerpts from the book and are unfamiliar of the entire context from which the excerpt is from. They accuse the author of stealing the title of their book from another. While it is true their book shares the same with another, it is stated in the book who picked the title. The title was picked by the wife of the co-author. Something the individuals who started all this neglected to mention. They neglected to mention or hold the co-author accountable too.
They accuse the author of saying they received a particular award in his book. However, the author did not explicitly write such thing. The authors do not seem to take into consideration that the person noted they were dealing with a concussion during the chapters of the book they were addressing. The author noted at the front of their book that they may misremember things given how much time has passed and the number of concussions they have sustained through the years. The people accusing the author of lying, did not consider this or look at the bigger picture that the author may have a brain injuryor something worse.
They go after the author for failing to remember the name of fallen colleagues during an interview, unrelated to the book. You can see the author is trying to recall their names, he sees them in his mind but fail him when he is put on the spot. How many of us have tried to think of an actor or a word or song lyrics but they don't surface? We all experience this as we say, "it's on the tip of my tongue". We all do it!!
The community for which the author belongs to were outraged by this. How could the author forget the names of fallen friends? The author was having a busy and emotional holiday related to this community and yet no one took this into consideration either. I suspect given the author's many concussions he was dealing with a form of "tip of the tongue" known as anomic aphasia. It's a disorder acquired by brain damage such as that through an injury, dementia or even stroke. If the author was highly stressed, it makes the process of recall even harder especially if there are strong emotions tied to it.
Perhaps, I am wrong in my assessment of the situation as a whole. I'm not a doctor so who knows if the author has a brain injury. I'm trying to look at a bigger picture where the community is nitpicking every word. I admit that the author rubs me the wrong way at times but if I can look past that surely the others should as well, but many do not. They would rather take part in name calling and destroy a man's life for sport, for fun. They are willing to end him.
Unfortunately, that willingness to destroy a life is churning daily, the community is rabid, it is out for blood and in their blind call for accountability and justice instead of understanding and compassion they may be driving the author into darkness. A darkness that claims way too many people in this country and especially in this particular community.
I do hope that the fervor for destruction of the author does not result in them ending their life. That would be a horrible tragedy, and it may explain my attempt to look at the bigger picture. Been there, done that, don't want it to happen to others.
It is a new year, so be kind to each other and have fun. Your musical treat for today is Phil Collins' "I Don't Care Anymore."
Rock on!
~Maynard