When Life Throws a Curveball

Life is a rollercoaster consisting of more than ups and downs, how we handle those ups and downs gives insight into our resilience. A situation is currently going on that may potentially cause me to switch careers. I remain optimistic and am enjoying some time away from my everyday job to work on other things. While my co-workers are frantically looking for new jobs, I am taking my furlough time to reassess what I want. 

One of those things, was creating a YouTube channel. I took a leap and did it. I did it as a side project, something creative for my brain to get lost in and at the same time, keep me sane and spread kindness around. When we are kind to ourselves, we are then able to show kindness to others. I do little things all the time for my friends and that played into the channel I started but also taking time to nourish myself. I struggle all the time with being kind to myself, but I try to stay in a good place or least a gray place where I'm not too negative and not overly happy. A well-balanced place.

Life and the things involved in it don't always allow us to nourish ourselves in the way we want. Parts of us die a little and we are on the treadmill of repeating our days. Being in nature, taking time to center ourselves, giving ourselves a chance to sit for a moment escapes us all the time.  Some of us are better than others at doing these things.

I admit that I struggle with meditating. I can sit for a bit and calm down, listen to Celtic music or some other relaxing music like flute or hand pans. I found that I had to create a routine to get into it. I think that's part of getting into the mindset to meditate.  I don't think one can just walk into a room and meditate. I suppose you can if you're really good at it but for me, I call my little sessions - "tuning sessions" as I am tuning into myself. A chance to do an internal check.

Making time is hard. I have horrible motivation to do anything. I ride a wave where I am into something for a stretch of time and then not and then back at it again. It's horrible! I know that is me, so I just roll with it. Getting back to my YouTube channel, it is way different than what I am doing here and choose to keep things separate for now. There is a place for everything, and my side project is different from what I do here.  

To be fair, the channel was born out of things I have written here in earlier posts. When you take a moment to think about the source of your inspiration, where your idea is truly born from it can surprise you. Turns out all these Special Forces books and some philosophical readings gave birth to my little creative adventure. It's all about that 10 second pause. 

Take time to pause today and every day.  Give yourself time, you deserve it. 

I was digging through some of my parent's belongings and found a Kenny Rogers CD which triggers a few memories from when I was kid. Your musical treat is the 1979 Kenny Rogers hit You Decorated My Life.

Rock on!

~Maynard

Close A Door, Open Another

After 17 years, I have pulled the plug on my website. I will keep this blog running for a while. The last book I published was in 2014 and admittedly, I haven't felt any of the 10 or so stories after that are worth publishing.  There is one I have been tinkering with for a long time, but it deserves to be told in a different format. I simply haven't figured that part out.

Plus, things in my life have recently changed and closing the website was a good thing. Plus, I can always start one back up if need be. For now, this blog will serve my purposes. I'll continue to add the videos from here to the YouTube playlist I have running. 

I am reevaluating my life and projects I'd like to do. A shift is going on and I am looking forward to the future. Writing will remain part of my journey, that will never end but I believe I am starting to find my new purpose and I owe it to myself to give it a try. I even splurged to buy a new laptop.  Not that the one I'm on is bad but it's pushing 9 years old. 

I am halfway through Aldo Kane's book and recently watched a show "Artic Ascent with Alex Hannold" where Aldo provided safety for the team as they went to Greenland to climb a cliff and gather scientific data. Not a whole lot of Aldo but I always appreciate his uplifting spirit even when things are sketchy. There's something about him, that you know if you ask for a hug, it's going to be the best hug you ever received. I dig Aldo's energy. I could soak it up all day. It's that type of energy that helps me keep my depression away for a bit. I feel good. If watching him on TV can do that, I can only imagine what it would be like in person. 

I'm not a big people person. Large crowds make me nervous, and I don't like the cramped space. It's one of the reasons why I love grocery shopping at 7am.  There is hardly anyone in the store and I can spend time reading labels without someone coming right up on me. I'm not skittish but I hate people just squishing right next to me. My reaction is "I don't know you, get the hell away from me". I never say it out loud but most certainly think it.

Small groups of people are good. I simply struggle with people in general. I suck at small talk and due to my quiet nature, I'm not a life of the party kind of person. I'm the observer in the corner. Which at times is a good thing.

I hope all of you are doing well and can enjoy some quite time while grocery shopping and yes, go ahead and buy the pint of black raspberry ice cream. Everyone deserves a treat.

Your musical treat for today is Lionel Richie's 1982 hit You Are.

Rock on!

~Maynard