The Skater and the Broken Child

 I was hoping that the neighborhood skater would appear today and he did. It was easy to approach him and he clearly recognized me.  I talked to him a bit and warned him that a resident made a complaint and told him if he stayed clear of our parking lot he should be okay.  He appreciated the heads up.  

I feel good helping him out but I understand how beneficial skateboarding can be and due to my own experiences with skateboarding from a non-skater view. Skating has been beneficial to me even though I don't skate. It has reminded me often of my own strength and resilience. Bob Burnquist, Bucky Lasek, Tony Hawk, Kelvin Hoefler, Luan Oliveira, Jonny Giger and so many others have unknowingly saved my ass. For that, I am ever grateful and don't expect anyone to understand that.

There is something about these skaters, these men and their own stories that speaks to a part of me that I have spent years trying to heal and support - the Broken Child. They say helping others is a way to mend the broken child and to listen to the child inside. Given recent events in my life coupled with the guilt that has been inflicted on me my whole life that if I do good, I am made to feel bad.  That is Catholic guilt and my parents wondered why I ran away from the Church when I was a kid.

The Broken Child and the Inner Saboteur have a lot in common. One feels alone and afraid, nothing is ever good enough no matter the intentions and the other reinforces it with negative thoughts of being a loser. 

It's too late for me to learn skateboarding, not really, but the inner child in me I think seeks the kind of freedom and release that comes with it.  It could be that the broken child in me relates to the idea of how skaters are seen as the misfits, the outsiders, the ones who don't belong.  I found a community that isn't really my community but a part of me lives adjacent to it and that's okay.

Warning the neighborhood skater today in some ways appeased the Broken Child. The child is happy and although, broken, has received a hug by doing a good deed. A deed that the Saboteur cannot destroy this time.

Today's musical treat is Lupe Fiasco's 'Kick, Push' which seem appropriate given today's events.

Rock on!

~Maynard