Content Warning!

This blog on occasion addresses depression, death, suicide and other sensitive themes. Continue at your own discretion in reading the content.

Thursday, September 6, 2007


It is that reflective time of year for me. A time when I feel like I'm getting ready to hibernate for the winter. During the fall I take time to acknowledge those who mean so much to me. I light a candle in their honor. A celebration of past friends, current ones and ones I have yet to meet.
In some aspects, I mourn in the fall. Mourning the loss of my good friend Michael (more is said about him in my book) which is actually more of a celebration. I miss him but I also celebrate his life. I celebrate my own as well. I am ever thankful for the people who helped keep me alive, whether they are aware of helping me or not.

This is where my deep appreciation for the late Steve Clark (Def Leppard) comes to full life. My appreciation comes alive for Dave Mustaine (Megadeth) too. My connection to Steve Clark and Dave Mustaine is livelier; it's heightened to an extent during the fall. While I may be in a reflective mind frame, mourning a life I no longer lead, I find a way to celebrate the one I have now. Perhaps, like everything else I am mourning them in a way. I am mourning something in myself really. They are reflections and reminders of a life I care not to live again but fully accept will always be a part of me. Their hardships and vulnerabilities gave me strength to fight for my life. A life I sometimes didn't think I deserved to have. I realize that what I am saying may make no sense to you.

I'll try however to explain a bit more of what I mean. I believe that we are drawn to people for a reason. Not just people we know but strangers too. There is something in them that speaks to us. Something we recognize. Sometimes what we recognize is ourselves in them. This is why Steve Clark and Dave Mustaine speak to me. When I hear either one play their guitar, I acknowledge something in myself. Both men have a gift for making their guitar "sing" which speaks to me on a much deeper level. Looking at pictures of them reminds me of where I am now and how much their own troubled journeys have given me strength. The music that each has created speaks to me in ways that words cannot. That is the beauty of music. We all understand it in some form. A lot of what I'm saying will make more sense when my book comes out October 1st.

Before I go, I hope all of you take the time to light a candle of thanks for everyone that is special to you.

- Maynard

P.S. - The countdown is on! Only 24 days until my book is out.

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